you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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