Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
