Jerry, you need to find god
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
