So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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