she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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