I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
