I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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