I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
