He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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