I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The adults are the big ones right?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
