She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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