grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So vagazzling was a success
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
