i don't like sucking hair
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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