We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I have tasted many bathrooms
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
