All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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