i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
