Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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