hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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