he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
