Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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