in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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