i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
