youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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