Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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