His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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