i permit you to call me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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