So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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