No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
