Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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