Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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