god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
