There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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