Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize