Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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