Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
