Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
This house was built for laser tag.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
