So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
