wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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