lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Randomize
