with your own penis?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
