I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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