He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
