Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
