how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
