I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm really busy with my period
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