Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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