i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
