I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
