I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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