none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
